WWFB: Crimes Against Food Edition
The scene: The mean streets of Brookfield and Waukesha, Wisconsin.
And by “mean streets” of course I mean idyllic suburban byways.
I’ve always wanted to start a YouTube series featuring me reading aloud the best incidents from the Brookfield and Waukesha crime blotters. There was the one about the person in trouble for buying pies and then throwing them to the ground outside the Bakers Square. And the one about the suspicious figure lurking in a neighbor’s driveway that turned out to be a basketball hoop. Welcome to Mayberry!
Turns out a lot of crime in the western Milwaukee suburbs has to do with food. I don’t mean stealing food. I mean…pretty much everything you can do to, with, or about food except stealing it.
I hereby present a roundup of the best food-related entries from the Brookfield & Waukesha crime reports:
- Woman was performing a spiritual ritual on a dead opossum by throwing goldfish and windshield washer fluid on the dead animal. She then pulled out a Green Bay Packers lawn chair and yelled “repent” at the dead animal. (link)
- Husband declares marriage over after wife salts popcorn at Brookfield theater, police say. (link)
- Man flips garbage cans, insults owner at Brookfield Kopps over ketchup packets, police say. (link)
- A man reported a turkey sitting in the same spot for three hours. (link)
- In the McDonald’s parking lot, a man in a white Nissan threw a water bottle at another car. The man was driving in the wrong lane and a passenger in the other car called the man a ‘ding a ling.’ (link)
Be careful out there!